7 days of Christmas for Me

So all my Christmas stuff is DONE. Well I have a package to ship and Captain has a gift to find but that's not a big deal- we can get that done in our spare time. Can I just say I am so excited right now- I'm heading out the door and I don't return to work for 10 days.

What it takes to pull off Christmas in 7 days…
5 days of non-stop shopping during every spare moment (about 25 hours worth).
1 night of gift wrapping (6 hours worth).
1 wonderful hubby to care for the kids throughout it all (and alot of caffeine).

I had so much fun, I can’t wait to see how my gifts are received. I’ve come to peace with the money spent and the gifts given and after crunching the numbers I realized all is well.

Next year I'm sticking with the 3 gift rule though for my boys (I forgot about that goal from previous years). The gifts can be a grouping but it has to fit in one box and of course they're will be the stocking stuffers and 1 big gift from Santa... but that's it. The number 3 comes from the 3 wise men bringing their gifts. 3 is good.

Now on to the cleaning and preparing of the house…
Merry Christmas!

My Thoughts

Okay, I like to complain and I must confess I really do like to stress. Not sure why, it gives me a high and while I know better than to be such a freak, what can I say at least I’m unique.

Sorry if my postings have sounded frantic, I guess I'm in a mode. I'm going to go home and enjoy my boys and then worry about the rest later (later on tonight). Worry is the wrong word, I'm going to handle what I can the best I can knowing all of this is my decision- I just think I like to keep things interesting. Interesting to me is keeping busy with things I enjoy doing/thinking about. I can honestly say without a doubt that I have enjoyed this Christmas season so far.

Still I will try harder to focus on keeping busy doing things that are of a higher purpose, participating in activities and tasks/commitments that are according to His purpose. I need to get out of this superficial mindset.

So let me just say quickly that I love having 26 people to buy for. Do you know that wrapping over 50 gifts in one night will be something I’ll cherish? Do you know that attending all our Christmas Eve and Christmas Day activities will be thoroughly enjoyed? How many people out there can't leave their house to buy a gift for anyone? How many people can't do simple tasks like wrapping gifts? How many people can’t afford any gifts- much less the amount I was able to buy? How many people have no where to go to for the Holidays? Life is a blessing, that is why I live it so intensely. I don't apologize for the intensity, just for the focus sometimes.

Is your focus where it should be?

Wrapping Up

No matter how well your intentions are- something always suffers. You scratch one thing off your list and two others crept onto the page.

I have a plan, I ALWAYS have a plan- sometimes my plans don’t work out but it isn’t for lack of trying. The biggest problem with plans is the fact that they don’t always take everything into consideration. I mean, how easy is it to focus so much on one aspect while losing the overall big picture.

Some examples…
Vow to stay on budget.
Encounter unexpected bills.
Proceed to the Holidays.
Decide not to overspend.
Wait on bonus to set spending limits.
Line up every detail possible.
Go shopping.
Exceed budget.
Adjust budget.
All done, things are good.

So Christmas shopping/buying is complete but wait…

What about wrapping?
Do an inventory on gifts.
Decide what can be wrapped.
Avoid doing the gift bag thing when possible.
Decide what needs boxes, determine gift wrap and tissue paper requirements.
Happy to the sets of boxes and bags costing less than I expected.
Find nice wrapping paper and buy enough to wrap them all in the same stuff.
Buy one roll of similar gift wrap for the girls on our list.
Drop $55 for the wrapping supplies – ouch.

Tonight I’ll wrap it all. I’ll love the details of the paper lining up just right and hate the misshaped items because they won’t look perfect. The boys will try to get in the room and will misbehave because I’m doing something besides focusing on them. Hubby will be rightly frustrated because the boys have been a handful. I’ll be frustrated because I’m tired and have been trying to fit in too much.

But that’s not it- tomorrow will be my last night before we have everyone over. I’ll be cleaning the floors and scrubbing the bathroom and all the other deep cleaning that you like to have done when you’re hosting a get-together, it won’t all get done but I’ll do my best. If I can I’ll do some laundry too because the next few days will be hectic and it would be nice to not have that piling up.

Saturday Mom will arrive with Dad early and that will be great- I hope to relax a little before heading out to Church at 3pm (the beginning of our Holiday activites). I’ve been missing my Mom like crazy and have been wishing to share with her all my Christmas finds and crazy thoughts. I can’t tell you how much I miss touching base with her daily. For that fact, I miss touching base with all my family members more often. I use to see them all a lot more often and wish we had more time to spend together. Christmas time is coming just in time.

But I digress. Here is my formal apology for taking the easy way out every Holiday. Hosting events is so much more difficult. It is like you have to be ready days before everyone else. Thank God everyone is pitching in on the food or I’d be in big trouble. Still I’m really looking forward to it, it is a labor of love for sure.

Shopping Wrap-up

We had 26 people to buy for this year, 2 being my kids. I set a budget and narrowed down selections and still didn’t keep the spending at a reasonable level. How did this happen?

#1 We don’t buy for our kids year around so this time of year I feel the need to make it up to them. Stupid I know, they’d do better to get something here and there instead of getting more than they know what to do with all at one time. Still we’ll be home for 8 days so the activity stuff is going to come in handy since we’ll actually have the time to play with it all.

#2 We bought mostly low-ticket items. Nothing the boys received was over $35. So now they will have lots of lil’ junk right? This was almost unavoidable though because the higher priced items would have likely gotten broken by a 3 year old that doesn’t know his own strength. Is it fair to the 5 year old? Who knows but what would really suck is getting a high-ticket toy and having it broken w/out being able to replace it. I’m weighing the pros and cons here. Hopefully he'll enjoy the scaled down version of the high-ticket item and the sheer volume of everything will be enough.

#3 It was Santa’s fault. He thinks the lil’ cute items are required.

#4 I had less time to bargain shop. I crammed my shopping into a shorter period of time because I wanted to better determine my budget based on my bonus (won’t do that again) and while I updated my list daily, I lost track through out the day of what I was getting.

#5 I did do better. I spent less this year on the boys than last year and a lot of what I bought was stuff I was going to need to buy anyway- shoes, clothes, underwear, a belt, etc.

#6 I needed to up my game on gifts for everyone else. Last year was so lean for those we bought for (outside of our kids) that I felt like I had some making up to

#7 There were less ideas to work from this year and slim pickens at the stores. To buy equivalent gifts (gifts that I think are worth giving), I had to spend more.

#8 When we have such big families Christmas time is more expensive because there are more loved ones to want to buy for- I just forget that they'll be buying for my kids too. Since we haven't talked much lately (things are so busy and we don't touch base as often as we use to), I suppose I had this fear that the kids wouldn't get much. But they'll get enough from everyone else that by the time they open ours last on Christmas Day- they'll be so tired they will want to give up. What am I worried about? I suppose getting it wrong. How many Christmas' do you get with kids? They grow up so fast, I just really cherish seeing the happiness they'll feel (or that I hope they will).

After Christmas I’ll post what I bought. I was wanting to know where my hard eared money went so I made a general list from my more specific one.

Anyone else relating? I don't want to feel all alone here.

Hungry

When I get hungry I want food. I don’t mean I want food when it is convenient, I mean I want food NOW. I get angry and upset, I start thinkin' about ways to destroy the world if I don't get fed. It is awful, but it is true.

So we’re shopping and the pain of needing food creeps up from my stomach to my brain. The thought begins to overwhelm me. I know we should get something on the way home but I ask the Cap if its cool if the go to the Rainforest Café now so we can use lil' one's gift certificate (but really it was because it was the closest). He says we better not. I feel a flash of anger but suppress it- I do not want to make a big issue of this and he's right. Besides, I can wait right? So we walk, and walk, and walk some more. The kids get sidetracked and I try to maintain my nice Mommy/Wife mode. Let's go, let's gooooo- I have got to eat.

We make it to the car but instead of stopping at one of the many fast food places nearby, the Cap keeps driving. I know he wants to get home but COME ON. I wanted to eat in the mall, at least let's eat near the mall. I stay silent.

We approach our exit to get home and I suggest we go to the nearest fast food place. He says okay but turns the other direction- he decides it is best to go to the one near our house because it isn't "out of the way"- this one was in the other direction but just one close turn and we'd be there. AGGGSDFdadfsdfawertaewtg~!~!~!

Do I say anything? I shouldn't. I can't help it. WHY??? Why not stop at that one? The Cap laughs off my exasperation and I laugh too but deep down that hunger is growing (along with my temper). I look at the Captain, I wonder why he feels his need to impose his will on something that means so little to him and SO MUCH TO ME. I press on and he is laughing.

He admits the drive was further than he expected and while the boys in the backseat are going nuts, I'm trying hard not to. We're almost there- us along with the 6 other cars already in the drive-thru. Why this location? This particular location is awful- they are slow and aggravating. I didn't want this- this food chain is fine but not this place. We laugh, we wait. We arrive, we get our food, we go home. We avoided catastrophe, I was fed just in time.

The hunger almost got me. I made it 4 hours between meals without dying from starvation. Am I the only one that NEEDS food to stay "normal"?

Weekend Wrap-up

What a weekend, yeah it is time to do my Sunday night wrap-up. Friday was so long ago- I pretty much don't remember it. Oh yeah, the Cap took Big Kid to see Narnia with our Church youth so lil' one and I went on a 4 hour outing to see Grandpa and shop like crazy. The good news is I found a top that worked with my skirt for my Christmas Party (wasted way too much time on that) AND I got a good amount of Christmas shopping completed was well. I was putting my purchases in the cart w/my son and he didn’t even notice. I will miss the days that that is possible.

Saturday we woke up early and cleaned, dealt with a meltdown by big kid over camo, had Christmas early for my niece, took the kids to the Polar Express outing in Grapevine and left from there for my company Christmas Party.

Because of our time crunch, we got ready for our semi-formal party at the Convention Center where we parked for Polar Express. The bathrooms were being used by guests from a party in process so that was INTERESTING- I was nervous about packing everything and getting ready “on location” but all went smoothly except I had to borrow lotion from from my sister-in-law and I forgot my earings that I bought special for the outfit.

Anyway, the Gaylord location was impressive when we finally got there (parking was awful and finding the ballroom wasn’t easy). A good time was had but we arrived so late that we had to sit with strangers (which was actually pretty amusing) but we missed out on the final outing of the evening- a surprise Bday party because my internal clock was really off (that and a few drinks didn't help me stay on track). It was like we had just arrived and next thing you know we HAD to go. Oh yeah, our bonus exceeded my expectations and allows us to stay on track with expenses of the month so we’re super grateful for that.

Anyway the next day after Sunday School and Church we had lunch with my parents and another niece. Soon after I began another marathon shopping trip. I REALLY lucked out and all in all I have to say I’m really proud of all the gifts I’ve bought this year. I've found plenty of great items at reasonable prices but it has taken more time than I might have liked. Oh well. I still have to make 2 or 3 trips but it should all come together.

Our small group's gift exchange went well too AND one of our couple’s announced they were going to be having baby #2.

Needless to say it was just one of those great weekends. After spending every minute driving, shopping, cleaning, or visiting, I need to sleep but I can't- there was an amazing development this afternoon that I'm not going to go into detail on right now but it is a wonderful opportunity and definitely a God thing. I haven't really processed it but all I can say is He does know how to meet our needs. My heart has been hurting over a matter that I can finally resolve in a way that I thought wasn't going to be possible. Elements came together and all I can say is this may be the most important decision I'm making thus far as a result of putting my trust in God's will for me.

NotHappy Night

So I tried on the top that I bought and the shrug was attached and it all looked BAD so it's going back to the store. That will teach me to buy something without trying it on. After going through all my tops I've figured out what I need. Now I need to find it.

It wasn't a all bad night though, we ate at CiCis which was fun and the Captain took the kids home while I shopped till I dropped. I bought so many GREAT gifts (and got some great deals too). I LOVE gift giving. I LOVE finding that perfect something for loved ones.

I got about 35% of the shopping done- 3 more trips and I'll be good to go. Wish me luck!

What has been your favorite buy so far? Mine was the three groupings I bought last night for my sister-in-law, lil' one's teacher, and a family friend. They were inexpensive and really cool. I like that they're unique and pretty. It was bath stuff, and eye masks, linen spray and that type of girlie stuff (each person is getting something different) but each grouping goes well together and it is nice stuff (not that cheap junk you find). Yippee!!!

Happy Day

I found an outfit. I still need to try on the top because the one I actually tried on was too small so I selected the next size up and I'm praying it fits. If not, well I'm running out of time because I have to stop shopping for myself and start shopping for everyone else. The outfit is cute, a trendy calf length skirt with lots of twirling power. The top is simple but it will do and it has a matching shrug so that's cool. I hope it is dressy enough but honestly I like it so much I really don't care if it is or isn't- plus now I'll have something else I can wear for everyday too. Isn't it great when you find what you want and it is cheaper than you would have paid- happy day!

Procrastination = Stress

So I’m one with some procrastination tendencies. Not to say that I procrastinate on everything or even that 85% of the things I procrastinate on end up badly but yeah I do put things off from time to time. In regards to Christmas shopping, I’ve gone both ways. Some years I hold off and buy close to Christmas and others I buy all year around- I have to say there are pros and cons to both but this year I may regret my wait-till-the-last-minute strategy. I plan on doing my shopping in my “spare time” Sunday thru Friday and I actually thought this would work out well. I have my budget and ideas written down and I generally know where to go to get what so how hard can it be right? My bonus will be the final determining factor on some items and with any luck- there will be nothing on the credit card that doesn’t get paid off by the time the bill gets here. I’ve sworn to stop buying on credit and as long as I don’t have to pay interest, I suppose that’s close enough.

First of all I’m hosting Christmas Eve this year and while my family is anything but critical on household cleanliness, I want the house to be in tiptopshape- that will not be easy to accomplish if I’m out shopping every night (I should have thought about this). Secondly, I could have been out shopping already because I use the credit card to purchase these types of items anyway (I get points and the points turn into a 10% discount at Target which ends up being a big savings since I won’t carry a revolving balance/pay interest).

Anyway, not only did I put off shopping for others but I put off really thinking about my Chrismas Party outfit. In the past I haven’t really gone all out but this year it occurred to me that the new location is VERY nice and I probably need to up my game. So, I’ve been out looking for something to wear the last few days (in my spare time) I’m not having ANY luck. My expectations are high and my budget is small, the criteria I have set are REALLY specific and I have no time.

Well needless to say, the stress level is rising and I’m afraid this “plan” of mine will backfire. We’ll see. Today on my lunchbreak I’ll go out for the 3rd and hopefully last time to find something for myself to wear to the Christmas Party. I’m thinkin’ a floor length fabulous skirt with a simple top. I have 3 other events to attend so I’m hoping I can switch out the skirt for jeans without having to adjust much else.

Good Bye

I loved you dearly and it is with a heavy heart that I had to let you go. We didn’t know each other long and while my first impression of you wasn’t great, it didn’t take me long to see how fantastic you really were. It wasn’t long after we came together that I knew you were right for me (even if others didn't see your greatness like I did), you were different and special and you made me feel better by just being there. But you let me down. At first I tried to ignore your flaw, I thought I could live with it. I took you out anyway and that was when you proved that you just couldn’t be there for me they way I needed you to be. When we were out on the dance floor you came undone and it wasn’t long before I knew the night was through because of you. It wasn’t a total lost but it was an eye opening experience. Life is full of relationships that run their course, it isn’t unusual to be let down, things don’t always end the way you’d like them to be but somehow you get through it right? I hope so.

Brown faux alligator thin healed tall boots of mine, you were totally different from any other pair of shoes I’ve ever had and I’m sorry I had to take you back- darn that broken zipper of yours. I felt guilty for wanting to exchange you after how close we had become so it was bittersweet when I realized all the other pairs out there were also gone. Guess I wasn’t the only one to have loved you afterall. I'll always remember the good times. Rest now, rest.

Parting is such great sorrow.

Christmas Party #1 Down

We had such a good time this year at the Captain’s Company Christmas Party. It was at City Streets in Downtown Fort Worth which for me could have gone either way. I was pleasantly surprised at just how nice our room was decorated and how great the food was. Everyone played pool or darts and we ladies generally sat around chatting. The rest of City Streets is like a club type place with different rooms for different activities and I was curious if it would feel strange being in a middle room by ourselves, that or I was afraid that everyone disperse throughout the rest of the club and it would be odd. But concerns were not validated at all. The party started early enough that by the time the other parts of the club were hoppin’ our party was winding down and we all headed for the dancin’ area as a natural progression of the night.

The person that planned it all is so nice and is such a hard worker; she went into great detail on the giveaway prizes and overall ensured that the party was a success. The prize I liked best was one that others didn’t seem to appreciate; it worked out in our favor because in the end I got it (a big fat chef cookie jar).

I did something different this time than I normally do; I hopped around from person to person. Generally I’m not one to mingle excessively because I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings by walking away once I've started chatting with someone but now I realize that in those situations conversations are suppose to be short and sweet so really there isn’t anything wrong with not hangin’ out with the same people/person all night long.

Good times!

New Obsession

Oh my gosh, I have always LOVED photography but now I’m obsessed. My friends preceded me in their obsession with the whole Scrapbooking Craze and as much as I wanted to join them, I didn’t. This made me terribly sad because I’m a creative person and this would be right up my alley BUT as many pictures as I took w/my 35mm, the cost of developing the one set for the photo album and the one set for distribution basically was all I could afford. Then when you add the cost of all the scrappin’ stuff (and yes I would want it all) well I didn’t have the space or the time and honestly I think my husband would have HATED it. He’d be right to because I would be doing it morning, noon and night. So I digress, I didn’t join the scrappers but I did make a vow to do more with my pictures (now I FINALLY have).

When my 35mm was stolen (along with my Mom’s) it was VERY upsetting, that camera was great and the Captain had bought it special for me when I was 17- ten years later and it was still a wonderful camera. When it was so tragedy taken from me (along with my diaper bag out of my truck while it was in my driveway) I was forced into a life of disposable cameras and never got use to not having a zoom, timestamp or even decent pictures for that fact. I’m that person that always forgot to do the flash and I would try to take pictures from too far away… I look back on those pictures and feel ILL. That or I’d lose the camera all together.

So I bit the bullet and bought a digital camera. I did all the research, decided what factors were most important, shopped around, got Best Buy to come down on their price, bought a decent memory card and all the accessories- it was more money than we had but it was money well spent. I save SOOOO much not having to develop every picture I take. I also almost ALWAYS get the picture I want because I keep shooting till I see in the viewer the image I want. I delete often the pictures that don’t make the cut, I post the ones I like a lot, and I print (or will print) even fewer still for the album. I download my pictures to a CD once I’ve accumulated a certain amount and I keep them organized so I know their status and because I have to be able to find them easily. I still have a little cleanup to do on my directory format- I made a bunch of folders initially to group pictures but have found that cumbersome. I think I’ll stick with dates and occasional short descriptions instead for the filenames and avoid folders all together.

When I talk about these things I get into a state of euphoria. I almost can’t contain my excitement concerning capturing moments with loved ones. Some people like video but I want a glimpse of the moment not a exact replica- I like to look back at pictures and remember those times/people the way I remember them (even if I am wearing rose colored glasses).

So here I am exploring the software on my computer months and months later. Our computer was given to us by a co-worker of the Captain's and it already had some software installed so I’ve got plenty of options between those programs and the ones my camera came with but I’d never spent much time looking into it all. I’ve gotten about 2/3s of the way through my actual hardware camera manual a couple of times but I still struggle with it so I was intimidated by the software side all together. But I was a fool. The software side is sooo awesome. I have been merging pictures, cropping like crazy, and just overall having a blast with borders and special effect. This is totally addicting. I was up until 2am messing around and I could have gone on all night. I’ll try to post some pictures but the file sizes are really big and I'm more likely to post pictures to the family blog anyway so... I will print some out for sure so I can show and tell.

Some of the merged pictures will be in an attachment to our Family Christmas Letter. I’m sure a few people might think it is strange but hopefully not, if so “those” people don’t belong on my Christmas list anyways.

When People Say...

You only live once...
or
You only get one shot at living your life...
it isn't a big deal UNLESS they mean, this is it.

It isn't. Not for me and I hope not for you. Its just something to think about. Do you know people with much less use to be alot happier? With all the gains we have made, we still don't understand how to find fulfillment.

Do you remember the parable about the man that had upheld all of God's commandments? He asked if there was anything else he could do and when Jesus said to give up all that he had and follow him... he couldn't do it? Could you? If you're a Christian like me, you should be able to say none of this matters more than God's will for me. This type of thought-process wasn't unique for the time, it still holds true (maybe now more than ever).

Productive Weekend

I understand that it is not good blog etiquette to blog as if you’re writing a diary. I get this so I try to make my blog more about thoughts in general, comments, insights, etc. But I have to say I feel so good about this weekend that I just have to share. I got some great family time in with my hubby, my kids, and my parents and I managed to get a lot done around the house too.

I so wanted to go shopping but I have really forced myself to wait till the Company Christmas Party so I can find out what my bonus is going to be. Generally we have cash on hand to finance Christmas, we’ve never done purchases on the credit card, but this year has been EXPENSIVE and we don’t have much extra. It shouldn’t be a problem but the fridge breaking down isn’t going to help. Oh well. Come on Christmas bonus, please please cover Christmas and the fridge (Sears has a deal that is only $200 or so and covers any problems- parts and labor).

I think this wait till the last minute method is actually going to work well. Hopefully there will be markdowns and I’ll be forced to limit my number of purchases since I have’t been out and about as much as I was last year. We’ll see. I’d love to spend the avg $750 or so but keeping it under $1000 is really difficult. I’m trying to see where we can cut corners but it isn’t going to be easy.

Anyway, to keep my mind off of finances- I kept myself busy. In fact I got 18 bags of leaves raked, it took hours and wore me out but man it felt good to see the front yard looking so much better! I/we also made progress on the infamous deck project. We’ve been working on this for months and made major progress when my church group came over and helped us complete the demolition. The concrete slab still needed to be cleaned off and I managed to get about 12 pots worth of dirt saved to contribute to the mounding landscape project in the front as well as about 9 leftover pots worth for the backyard project. Anyway, the next step was making the backyard safe again. We want to save the lumber so removing the nails was not only a safely issue but also a practical concern too. I would say we have about ½ the lumber free of nails and screws. The other ½ shouldn’t take nearly as long, we started w/the hard stuff first. The lumber that is all ready is neatly stacked and the lumber we couldn’t salvage is now moved to the side of the house. There is still a large amount sittin’ in the middle of the yard but it isn’t as daunting. Working outside is such a rewarding thing to do. I love the fresh air and daylight. Just everything about it feels good.

I’m tired today but I feel good about the progress. Oh yeah, I cleaned the carpets, spent a couple of hours helping my Mom decorate my Dad's room where he's recovering, watched Electra and last weeks episode of ER, went to Church & Sunday school too...

Now I need to focus on laundry (if it isn’t one thing…).

Lookin’ Nice

Most women like to look nice. Most women/girls care about their appearances. We usually enjoy getting new clothes and finding different things to do with our hair and make-up. Of course there are some that say they don’t care but a lot of them are unhappy with their appearances in general and don’t have the confidence to try and turn it around. I think a lot of those women eventually do. Of course money has a role- it is somewhat expensive to stay trendy and it is time-consuming. Those lacking in one or both areas tend to let their appearances go. There are other exceptions but I’m talking about the women I know. Mood plays a role too, when I’m tired or sick I don’t really worry with looking me best, but if I try to look nice despite feeling cruddy- I usually feel better.

Now some guys will flatter themselves and think us ladies are dolling up for them. In my opinion most women don’t dress to impress men. I will even go a step further and say I feel sorry for women who do dress for men’s attention.

Not to say we don’t want to impress our husbands but mine likes me super casual and that just isn’t fun for me all the time (thought it sure is nice knowing he appreciates the more “real” me when I don’t have the energy to try).

What do you think?