Kindness
Somewhere along the line I grew into a person who can be very critical. I think it first started when I was attempting to learn from others in regards to relationships, money management, and things of that nature. Really it was innocent enough. Then when I thought I had figured out certain truths, I began to find myself talking about the downfalls of those who hadn't (at least from my perspective). This wasn't on purpose and generally would fall into typical normal conversations just like the ones you hear everyday but that doesn't make them right.
I don't mean to imply that I think critically about people all the time or all people; there are certain people I say nothing negative about and support 100%. I finally realized the reason I am less critical of some people over others is because it is difficult to be mean spirited to kind people. I have so many kind people in my life that I know being a kind person is totally possible, but you have to want to be. So here I am vowing right here/right now to be more kind.
Other truths I've come to know to aid me in my kindness quest…
1. It is okay to say what's on your mind if your intent is good, however you should NOT depend on others to validate what your saying. The trick- if what is on your mind isn't logical or is mean spirited, let it go before it comes out.
2. Surround yourself with people who get you.
Not everyone likes everyone, not everyone relates to everyone- this is just a fact, what they told you in school about us all being the same deep down ISN'T TRUE. I like to be liked but I don't live to be liked by unlikable people.
3. Protect yourself.
I tend to see the good in people, but few people are always good. If the ugly side of you comes out around certain people, make a conscience effort to change yourself and the dynamics of the friendship- ugliness has a way of growing and turning into something that gets out of control.
4. Take responsibility for your actions and behavior only.
I can control what I do, I need to own up to the things I do that are not ideal or kind. I cannot control if others don't subscribe to the same philosophies. Enjoy the good, steer clear of the bad and hope that in the end the kindness shows through.
5. People don't have to communicate.
If others take issue with you and don't discuss their feelings, that's not something you can do much about. If people want to jump to wrong conclusions or enjoy perpetuating conflict, just accept nothing more can be done and try not give them ammunition (easier said than done).
6. Consider the source.
Given enough time, conflict occurs; conflict resolution is necessary at times. If conflict is unavoidable, consider the source.
It is never too late to change and you have to learn to forgive (even if you're not asked to). Holding on to resentment makes you mean and ugly.
I'm going to put out more good stuff so in the words of my friend Earl- my life isn't crap. Maybe that's why I like My Name is Earl, it gives me hope that we all are capable of becoming better people. Do you have a list? I think I will start trying to make up for the wrongs I've done- or in the least try not to repeat them.
1st thing on the list- stop being so critical (of myself and others).
2nd thing on my list- if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
posted by Krit @ Wednesday, November 23, 2005
2 Comments:
Hey there Krit-I missed you at our luncheon today. :) I loved this post because I can totally relate to it. I am much kinder than I used to be, but I have learned (mostly the hard way) to keep my mouth shut in most situations. If I review my thoughts in my head before I throw them out there...I usually end up just keeping them to myself. You're right, it is not bad to speak your mind, as long as you keep it in perspective that not everyone is going to agree with you. #2-AMEN! The people that are near and dear to me GET ME. It takes a special person to get what I am saying most of the time, and I know you feel the same way. If it makes you feel better, I DO get you. I feel like I've known you a lot longer than I have. You're a cool chick. Also remember when it comes to communication of any kind, people do it differently. It is parellel to love languages in a marriage. Different people have different ways of expressing love, and people have different ways of communicating. That is what makes us so great and interesting.
I would love to comment more, but I am rushing out to begin my weekend. Happy Turkey Day to you and your family. :)
I hated to miss the luncheon today too. I bought food to prepare and everything but the youngest was crazy sick. All night he was running fever (why do they chose to get sick after midnight?). It was cute though, poor lil' guy was feeling so bad he was talking in his sleep and it was really sweet. Captain has no more sick time so I had no choice but to stay home. Thankfully the oldest was feeling better and able to attend school, I got him ready and went to drop him off when I realized there was no school today. I suppose I was going to have to stay home regardless, didn’t occur to me that school would be out already. As much love as I received today though, I can’t say I would have changed a thing.
I have learned so much this past year or so about myself and others- it is amazing because while I express myself often in many ways, people I "know" still don't get me sometimes. I'm not as weak as some might perceive (though I do pick my battles) and I'm not as caught up in emotions as I sometimes let on. I’ve learned that there are some things that matter and some that don’t and even so, it is all in the big picture inconsequential. I do lean on my friends and family more than most I suppose but I have such a great support system that I wouldn’t change that for the world.
I do have to mind my temper though and not let things fester but that goes with the whole- don't expect everyone to agree with me thing/not expecting to please everyone all the time. Still if I’m likable and people don't like me- oh well. Still I could be nicer (hence the list).
Language of love, I love this thought-process. I have been reviewing my language of love and actually pixie, the way you speak of you hubby is very encouraging to me. I love the love that you express for your man. My hubby is also a great guy and I don’t often give him enough credit for all the love and support he gives me. I’m not the easiest person to share a life with and I’m lucky to have him.
It is really cool having such amazing people in my life period- I couldn't be more happy to have you to chat with at work (and online). Too bad you didn’t get to meet Fabian, he worked in the Printroom right before you came. He had great Christian insights and often helped keep me on track. I was terribly sad to see him go but here you are, another great person to know. Of all the great things I heard about you prior to returning, you have certainly exceeded my expectations. Of course we’re not alone, we’ve got lots of great people around us.
Hope your holiday is wonderful, Happy Hosting!
Post a Comment
<< Home