Expectations (revised)
So I have been slackin' - I didn't realize so many people were tuning in. I LOVE IT. So now I'll promise to do better but really you need to comment more so I feel like I'm being heard :)
Having said that, there just seems to be less and less time to blog these days- maybe it is the fact that my soccer blog has really taken off too. I'm super excited about it but I didn't expect it.
So maybe that is what I will talk about today- expectations. I have them, I enjoy them, I try hard to meet them. I often do but sometimes... well sometimes expectations are set that are out of your hands. For example- I am a people person. Yeah it sounds cliché but it is true. I thrive off of my relationships but I sometimes expect too much out of them. I gather energy and strength when I'm surrounded by people I relate to and I find myself suffering or declining in enthusiasm when I'm around those who don't "give back". When I deal with the people who "don't meet my expectations" I get disappointed and for some reason I think everyone will meet my expectations because my expectations are basically pretty low and because I generally think highly of people (unless given a reason not to).
I don't mean that people I befriend have to be just like me but I guess I want them to try and see the good in life; if that's too hard they have to be at least honest and real (and friendly), that's really good enough. But when people don't try at all... well I don't have alot of time for them. I love the idea that I don't have to have time for everyone. A friend of mine mentioned being discriminate about the people she is friends with. That is something I have never done. I try to befriend all those I come into contact with. It has worked in a way, you meet all kinds of people and they teach you different things. But if those people aren't kind, aren't caring, aren't givers- you've got to rethink how much effort you put into them.
Having said that- last night was so fun. I went to a Baby Shower at McBunny's for someone I didn't really know. She was nice and after getting to know her better- I know she's REALLY nice. It was a great time and I met other nice people too. So wonderful that McFunny opened up her home to make this person feel cared for, it showed me what a great person and friend she is- she's the exact type of friend I want to invest myself and my efforts in. Seeing Mom help out proved again how everything is better when she's involved, she's another example of a person that enriches my life and reminds me that expectations are good- because obviously with people like this in the world, those expectations can be met. I love you guys.
posted by Krit @ Saturday, October 08, 2005
1 Comments:
Becster, we’re so much alike (and might I say you’ve been such a good influence). I guess we're both being reminded that not everyone "is like us" and that our expectations should be realistic. Maybe you should tell her that have a friend you have to be a friend. ha ha. Remember when I was tripping over my words on that? Don't give up on her but don't invest more in her than you're willing to just sacrifice as energy given for the greater good in hopes but not expectations of improvement.
I just get spoiled sometimes because I have so many great people in my life. I can say that I've finally gotten away from most of the people in my life who are mean-spirited or unkind and that has created huge improvements overall. Of course there will always be those you can't escape because they are in your life due to circumstances beyond your control but maybe that's that way for different reasons? Maybe that's part of the plan?
Interesting because I had this response written before I saw your comment (Justintime) but it totally goes along with what you’re dealing with…
Justintime, coworkers are difficult to "get away from" and all working relationships (especially) have their ups and downs- part of it is because of their complexity. You share things about your life outside of work and you share your day-to-day work stuff too- it all has an impact one way or another. The opportunities for problems are going to arise.
The person that you speak of is someone to regard with caution for the reasons you've mentioned and because the bond you’all share is so really important to her. If she senses "betrayal", it could be a bad thing for you. She’s sensitive and sensitive people can behave badly when they get hurt. Those types of issues could result in possible problems way more difficult to resolve. Act with caution, be caring in the process, try to be a good example of how to be nice and friendly and you'll be fine (she may find you boring but she won’t consider you a threat). Who knows, something good could come of it. People adjust when they have too- because I can be negative I try to sense when I've gone too far based on the feedback I get from my friends. That feedback is really important to me and my good friends (like you) do a good job of giving it in a way that is really helpful. Sometimes we all need a reason to change course- because feeling all doom and gloom (or superior) is pretty addictive.
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