Live With...
So I just finished the first hour of the last episode of 6 feet under. I'm sad to say I forgot to reset the timer to record the 2nd hour. Duck, if you still have it recorded...
But it got me thinkin' (I know, dangerous- thank God it is over because this show ALWAYS gets me thinkin'). The Mother was miserable and I thought that was very pointless. It reminded me of why each of our have to establish priorities and to live with our choices. No one gets it all nor is it smart to want it all.
Every decision I've made has been because I wanted the outcome- to marry my husband at age 20, to have kids in our early 20s, to not continue paying for school when I wasn't sure what I wanted out of it, to my current job choice, my house, whatever. These are all the things I've chosen- eyes wide open. I won't say things are perfect but they are good and they are what I planned them to be. Most of us make choices and to pretend like life just happened to us- is pretty sad.
Having said that, these choices have come at a price. Now that I have what I wanted, I suppose I need to figure out what I want. To a big degree it is more of the same. I want to lead a Christian life, happy in my marriage, confident about the way I'm raising my kids, comfortable in the environment they're exposed to and secure about who I am even if I don't relate to a lot of people. Anything in my life that makes me unhappy is directly related to insecurities or wanting to go outside of my priorities so I will try my best not to let myself get caught up in the silliness of second guessing myself or my choices. At least I had choices and I can look back on the ones I made and smile.
posted by Krit @ Monday, August 29, 2005
4 Comments:
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Yeah, I'm going to change my settings to cut down on junk comments. What a downer to see that it wasn't my wonderfully witty friends leaving comments but just some fools trying to get free advertisement. Oh well. They're gone now :)
I actually think I am happy; I'm really just trying to appreciate what I have and remind myself that it is what I wanted. Because I am so blessed. It is easy to get what you want and then take it for granted. Life is good.
Yeah, I guess we're all on the same page. And you're right- if my career was really demanding right now I'd likely be going nuts.
I think being a Mom that's there for her kids is more important anyway. Not to say some Moms can't be both but everything has to be in balance for that to work (marriage, money, commitments)- so I'm not likely one that could be both career woman and good Mommy at this point anyway. Maybe one day... when I grow-up and we get better at doing the balancing act.
Then I think what if I have another baby in the next few years? I suppose that would mean that I'll likely stick around in this position for awhile because like you said Justintime- we do have a Mommy friendly (for the most part) place to work.
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